February 2012
5 posts
Oh my god, I'm gonna have a doctor boyfriend
I already have my eye on a house in Park Slope. I hope we get married before someone else buys it. PS, we have only gone on one date so far. I’ll be registered at Nordstrom’s.
“Never trust a man who fumbles for the check. If a man wants the check, he’ll...”
– Woody Allen (via amyweber)
An open note to guys
When you break up with a girl, and especially if you really break her heart, you don’t her to text her telling her how much you miss her or gchat her to pick a fight or try to get her to sleep with you or invite her to dinner so you can explain all of the things she did wrong in the relationship. That’s the wrong way to break up.
January 2012
15 posts
Please Stop
ryanpurtill:
“God, people are still making these? These are awful.” - Shit people say about Shit People Say Videos
Just agreed
As I was walking to the subway contemplating my moodiness, I thought I should take a pregnancy test tonight just to rule out a factor. Then I calculated how long it’d been since I’d had sex, which was too long ago for me to be able to do anything about it so I decided to just drink a bunch of wine tonight instead
I love Luke Wilson calling my name over and over again #enlightenment
keyboardpubes: MODELLAND, p. 507 →
keyboardpubes:
A terrible, animal wail rang out. Percy ran toward the sound … locked the main bathroom door, ran to the last stall door, and peered under it. There was a pair of knees on the floor. Someone was throwing up.
“I think it’s that chicken you chowed in the E, Ladonna,” Percy whispered through the…
Wow.
“People keep telling kids to study what they love — but some loves are worth more...”
– -Anthony P. Carnavale, author of a study on which majors lead to the highest rates of unemployment.
The dubious winner? Architecture. Followed by the arts. Followed by the humanities.
Everything fun leads to ruin!
(via morninggloria)
I have some stuff
Sunday morning A.K.A. New Year’s Day, I awake from a text message from my best friend. It immediately overwhelms me and I give her a call.
It turns out, my old boyfriend from Austin, the one I always considered Theonethatgotaway, is selling stolen bicycles and living out of a Motel 6. This shocked me, as when we were dating, he was going to school, working, and living in a great house in a great...
"HEY SWEETIE,YOU SEEM LIKE SOMEONE I CAN TALK...
whydoihaveablog:
inboxawkward:
Nah, I ain’t mad because you, sir, are a comedic genius. I like you’re style, too, ‘cause you have no time for spaces after punctuation marks. Makes everything sound more urgent. I can just picture you now, interrupting your complimenting my breasts by ardently inquiring if I was mad about your complimenting my breasts.
My friend started a blog to document...
“That’s what optimistic means, you know. It means stupid. An optimist is somebody...”
– Louis C.K. (via winnr)
December 2011
10 posts
Lady Macgyver: How To Disguise The Fact That You... →
I wish I’d read this a couple of months ago:
Whether you were up late watching internet videos of corgis on treadmills or you spent the last hour crying hysterically over your student loan balance, there are times when you’re going to have to be somewhere after a series of decisions or circumstances have led to your face looking like it’s…
Eeeeee!!!!
My girl crush (new) just Facebook friended me!!
Gonna die soon
For over a year now, I have had a running-caused injury that was diagnosed as IT band syndrome by a quack of a doctor (Marci Goolsby, don’t see her). I had 12 sessions with a physical therapist and everything hurt just as much as always and sometimes worse and I couldn’t work out nearly as much or as hard as I wanted to.
I finally saw a friend of my mother’s, an orthopedic...
Reason number 89 on why I like the boy
maltyk:
He smells good all the time. Like all the time.
It’s weird.
Uggghhhhh.
someonewithinternet:
girlyoulion replied to your post: Sometimes I use Old Spice deodorant because I like…
i’ve been using old spice fiji for the last 6 months and it blends really well with my perfume
That’s what I’m wearing right now. I smell like tropical loneliness.
I use Original Scent. Original loneliness?
November 2011
9 posts
Is it wrong to say no to a date with a guy who has baskets on his bike? Like, if you’re not man enough for a messenger bag, this isn’t going to work out?
“Sometimes the love of love makes us completely delusional. We hear what we want,...”
– CARRIE BRADSHAW, SACRIFICES, AND ONE SIDED RELATIONSHIPS-CANDICE SESI FOR HELLOGIGGLES
(via sophierobson)
Uggghhhh.
Hard Knox Life: Amanda Knox Spotted With Hipster... →
Non-Italian non-murderer Amanda Knox is slowly but surely readjusting to free life stateside after spending nearly 4 years in Italian prison. She dressed up as a mustachioed cat burglar for Halloween.
I can’t believe even Amanda Knox has a boyfriend. She’s been back in the US for like a second. AND everyone in a whole country thinks she murdered someone! I can’t even get a guy...
The restroom at my office has the toilet seat cover dispenser outside of the stalls so you can grab one on your way in, and every time I am in there with someone else, I feel the need to explain that the reason why I’m not grabbing a toilet seat cover is not that I’m not going to cover my toilet seat, but that I’m going to cover it with toilet paper because the covers always...
I'm just saying it's weird.
Arguing with significant others is so bizarre. There’s so much “you did this” and “you did that.” I never have so many problems with people until I get into arguments with boyfriends. And most of this stuff just doesn’t really matter, like whether or not I said x when I meant y or whether or not something was discussed before or after the action was taken....
Unrelated items:
1) Last night was an effing blast.
2) A party with home brews and sausage is a great place to meet guys.
3) I am not drinking for the rest of November.
October 2011
4 posts
Malty: You probably think this song is about you →
maltyk:
I used to want a boy to write a song about me. I thought it would be so romantic, something simple, sweet and almost cheesy. Think ‘Hey there Delilah’ bullshit.
When I was 17 I spent a couple weeks of my summer vacation in Mexico doing volunteer work. I went to catholic school and to graduate you…
Hey, Paula gets me every time. There was a breakup (I don’t remember which...
I tell inappropriate jokes
maltyk:
I dont remember a lot of things but uncomfortable or racist jokes always stick in my mind.
is this a gift or a curse?
1 tag
Bad things come in threes
My relationship looks doomed, my landlord wants to retroactively charge me for a rent increase she never discussed with me over the past half year, and my horrible ex is in town. Going to shows, running into my friends. I can’t believe shit turned on me so quickly! Damn you, universe. Damn you.
September 2011
10 posts
My trouble in paradise moment must be apparent to the universe, as my ex contacted me after not getting in touch in 3 months.
Avoidance
I have an envelope from my landlord laying on top of my TV cabinet. It is thick. I am afraid to open it because when it rains, it pours.
Just clicked the See Friendship button on Facebook with the boy and was overwhelmed. What a weird little snap shot of a relationship. Facebook definitely makes it look nice.
Nearing the end of what quite possible has been the hardest day of my life. Can’t wait to go home and get under the covers and talk to Monica until she can’t stand it anymore.
graceful woman temperament cultivation:... →
amyweber:
Last night, my friend and I caught a comedy show/story reading at Littlefield in Gowanus. The show was incredible. Smart, clever, innovative, and entertaining. The venue, though, lacked. I showed up early to sit at the bar, have a glass of wine, and wait for my friend. I walked in around 6:20…
4 tags
Society won't let me have a second burrito.